The Best Game That Came Out Since Final Fantasy VII

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Trust Me, I Wouldn’t Say This Lightly

But after 26 years of hard core gaming, I have finally been pleasantly surprised again! The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is a; marvelous, surprising, intelligent and very well designed story. It just also happens to be a polished diamond of a video game as well. As a gamer, there are hardly any games, which make me want to play their side quests. I mean they are usually some kind of never-ending flag collection like that Assasin’s Creed Bullshit! My connection to the game’s world is usually through the main plot. But, and this is a Nicki Minaj Size But, CD Project Red did something I haven’t seen since Final Fantasy VII a game I already declared my never ending love to before.

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When Side Quests Become The Main Story, And The Main Story Is Postponed As Much As Possible     

In The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt, you sometimes pass by an exclamation mark (!) on the map. It’s usually some kind of “go bring me back an object from a haunted house” type of task. But Sometimes it could suddenly turn into; a “Reunion with an old friend” quest. This reunion will: put you in a moral dilemma, make you threaten a back stabbing douche, and eventually become part of the final battle! No joke! This doesn’t happen on every side quest, but there isn’t one side quest that isn’t chaperoned by a witty, plot thickening story. So you find yourself walking around the world looking for exclamation marks, Easter eggs, legendary Fights, and just about any “Witcher Contract” you can snap off any towns bulletin board. It’s no gold Chocobo Breeding, but boy is it addictive. And sometimes it even gets you laid!

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Gerald Teaches You Two Real Life Skills

One of the best parts of this PEGI 18 video-game is; that it is actually made for adults. Put aside the fuck buddies, and the whoring around. The Witcher teaches you 2 real life skills every traveler must know:

1 – How to sweet talk the ladies.

Gerald is really horny all the time! He can’t have kids because of his mutation, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try! Sweet talking several partners into a; passionate, multi positioned, intimate sexy encounter is Gerald’s only trade he doesn’t accept money for, sometimes he pays for it, This brings us to his second lesson for us

2-How to get paid exactly what you deserve.

Most people in The Witcher 3 Wild hunt’s world are broke. Those who aren’t are just really cheap. Gerald’s trade is of great need, but everyone seems to want to weasel out of paying for it. This will sound familiar to all freelancers reading this. Gerald has a way with words, a way that puts the spotlight on grey areas. Teaching you, how to demand what you feel you deserve! And also, giving you the self-confidence to place a limit on how much you agree to be used.

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In conclusion, you can go check out all the game reviews praising this game for many technical reasons. But Until Final Fantasy VII Remake answers my demands. The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt is my PS4 all-time favorite.

Square Enix, The Mic Is Yours Now

Dan Eker

Using “Just Dance” The Video Game As Cardio Actually Works! Check Me Out In My Undies

This Is, The Part Where, I Say Shut Up Ariana Grande You Midget

About 10 months ago, I swapped Modern Warfare for a Playstation camera with some dude at West Berlin. I had no Idea which games were compatible, but I guess the idea of having a PS4 accessory shined to me. It seemed that the only PS4 games were The Play Room and Ubisoft’s Just Dance 2014. I went down to my local video game store Defcon in Charlottenburg. I mentioned how cool Defcon are previously here. I bought Just Dance 2014 there for like 30 Euros. At the time, I was about 75 KG with % 23 fats, and a customer support job that kept me leashed to a chair 9 hours a day. I needed the exercise! I striped down to my undies, popped in the game, got a bottle of water, and began our plutonic yet sweaty love affair.

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Look At Me Shake It In My Underpants

So, Just Dance 2014 has this social option to it called; Just Dance Television (JDTV).  Where, for some reason, people upload themselves shaking it in their living rooms. Actually, JDTV was a great tool, to later see your fitness progress.

I moved faster, I lost %15 of body my fat, I had way more energy, and I actually had a good time Just Dancing! The Music list for Just Dance 2014 was so diverse and fun; I played 3 times a week, for 5 months and never got bored. Heck, I even figured out I liked Chris Brown! But, for Every Just Dance 2014, there is a Just Dance 2015.

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Ubisoft, Stop Trying To Sugarcoat Us Adults With Macarena, Everybody Hates Macarena!

Yes, I know, the music industry is an industry. And pop music is a money maker. But I have nothing against pop like; katy perry, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, and Even Rihanna sometimes (when she’s not live). But what was so balanced in Just Dance 2014’s song list was lost completely in 2015’s. Suddenly there are 3 birthday songs, an O.D. of Ariana Grande and her undecided music ganre, and the most forgettable dances ever in the series. Though there were more songs to choose from, it seemed like the 25-35 year old demographic was, yet again, neglected. (Stop trying to make Macarena happen again! It was a mistake we made in 6th grade). Trying to be current, in these hipster infested dark days, is just a life time value loss. These artist and songs change so fast, by the time the game comes out, what used to be a rising star, is already a homeless junkie of a song. That’s why I say this to you Ubisoft: Go with the classics!

Here’s My Dream Song List, Who’s With Me?!

After a-lot of arguing I give to you my dream Song list (made a list on youtube so you could keep it in the background). Leave me a comment, tell me what you think my list, or send me one of your own.

Dan Eker

Why Will Final Fantasy VII Remake Kick Ass

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Take a moment and think

Think about that Final Fantasy VII Remake trailer that blew our minds. How is it even possible, that 17 years after a game comes out, fans begged and yearned for a remake? And it worked!

It wasn’t the graphics that made it such a milestone, I’ll tell you that much. Even for the time, I Dan Eker, was not impressed. The controllers would make your thumb bluster (press X to run). And the turn base combat was repetitive and annoying, until you encounter a boss. That part was truly exciting.

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So What Made FFVII It So Special?

Gameplay – Never has there been a game that turns from a turn base JRPG to: a snow-boarding, Motorcycle chasing, submarine adventuring, quest puzzling, a war strategizing, and a weird story driven Tamagotchi game.

Graphics – Say what you want about Final Fantasy VII’s gameplay graphics. Those cut scenes were out of this world, and so were Tifa’s boobs (Go team Tifa!). Playing the game as a young teenager, Dan here was not the only one who got a little too attracted to a bunch of polygons.

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Story – What can I say about Final Fantasy VII’s story that hasn’t been said before? In the loneliest time in my life, I had 9 best friends! The fact that the whole game was in text, and the length of it all, just brought it closer to being more of a book experience. The scene where you are about to jump into the final battle, you get to say goodbye to all your friends. That’s what they are, your real friends! It’s heart breaking, you actually linger around thinking: “maybe Vincent will finally have something more to say?” As if.

Replay Value – Because we were so young playing it for the first time, we hardly understood half of the humor, the drama or the suspense!  As you take your time, travelling the open world you find little Easter eggs like: the ever sleeping ninja, and his sneaky one-liners.

Music – They turned midi files into a complete orchestra! Drop mic, I mean composer stick.

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What are we The Final Fantasy VII fans expecting?

To put it mildly, we are expecting Final Fantasy VII to be treated like an adult. Too long have we been disappointed! Disappointed by these; weird, cutesy, awkward, clumsy teenage targeted morons! And not only have we been disappointed by Square-Enix. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have also forgotten who made them! Stupid fish nosed clichés.

Cloud had soul; he was vulnerable, yet super strong. That’s what made him so fucking special! I think we the FFVII fans want a fulfilled love interest, and maybe even the option to choose! We want more insight about Barret! We want to see how Marlene grew up! We want to see Yuffie in training and we want to level up so much Sephiroth won’t see what hit him. Don’t let us down!!!

Those were my thoughts, what do you think?

Dan Eker

Top 5 reasons, why buying a video game in Game Stop is way better than online.

Dirty Dan Eker's Game Reviews

  1. Pre-orders left-overs are a thing

If you are not a video game pre-order fan, you could still pick up a, hot from the oven game, sometime even a week ahead of its release date! Smaller local stores, like Defcon in Berlin, always buy a few extra pre orders. Unlike Game Stop, they buy these for a lucky few that come in and ask around.

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  1. Escaping The Boyfriend Seat

Game stores have designed themselves similar to how record shops, like tower records, or comic book stores used to. You get the feeling that it’s ok to hang out there. When you are on a tedious shopping tag-along, No longer will you sit around bored out of your skull. Being ignored while fantasizing about, how you always told yourself you will never be in this position ever again. Yet here you are. The Covers of new generation video games are not called…

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Top 5 reasons, why buying a video game in Game Stop is way better than online.

  1. Pre-orders left-overs are a thing

If you are not a video game pre-order fan, you could still pick up a, hot from the oven game, sometime even a week ahead of its release date! Smaller local stores, like Defcon in Berlin, always buy a few extra pre orders. Unlike Game Stop, they buy these for a lucky few that come in and ask around.

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  1. Escaping The Boyfriend Seat

Game stores have designed themselves similar to how record shops, like tower records, or comic book stores used to. You get the feeling that it’s ok to hang out there. When you are on a tedious shopping tag-along, No longer will you sit around bored out of your skull. Being ignored while fantasizing about, how you always told yourself you will never be in this position ever again. Yet here you are. The Covers of new generation video games are not called cover art for nothing! Even if you are not a video game enthusiast, being surrounded by these hyper realistic creations, calms the mind and inspires you to imagine what could be held inside. Just like when you were a kid.

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  1. Getting Yourself Something You Will Actually Enjoy

Having a chat with a fellow video game enthusiast about say: the new Batman Arkham Knight’s features and overall pros and cons, would give you an honest review that is detached from the promotional hype. You could honestly know if Batman Arkham Knight, and its Batmobile is worth your precious free time. Another cool option is to swap games for free with other players.

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  1. Your Old Games Are Worth Something

Even a Massive, Open world, epic game like The Witcher 3 Wild hunt, can run its course. Yeah you can sell it online, or on your local Bodega. But those places don’t always want your game. The stores have a business plan that encourages you to come back to them. Even the newest games can be swapped with 2 older ones, regardless of which console it works on. Check out Game Stop’s 9.99er list, you would be surprised what a little research could save you.

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  1. Downloading Time Is Your Ride Home

When downloading a game from the Playstation Network, or Xbox Live most people leave the console open all night. You only enjoy your shiny new game the next day after work. Yes, some games let you play while they download. But come on! This is cutting your experience to chapters until it finally finishes. Taking a game home, undressing that factory cellophane. Reading the manual and the synopsis, it’s an excitement you don’t get from looking at the download percent bar.