Using “Just Dance” The Video Game As Cardio Actually Works! Check Me Out In My Undies

This Is, The Part Where, I Say Shut Up Ariana Grande You Midget

About 10 months ago, I swapped Modern Warfare for a Playstation camera with some dude at West Berlin. I had no Idea which games were compatible, but I guess the idea of having a PS4 accessory shined to me. It seemed that the only PS4 games were The Play Room and Ubisoft’s Just Dance 2014. I went down to my local video game store Defcon in Charlottenburg. I mentioned how cool Defcon are previously here. I bought Just Dance 2014 there for like 30 Euros. At the time, I was about 75 KG with % 23 fats, and a customer support job that kept me leashed to a chair 9 hours a day. I needed the exercise! I striped down to my undies, popped in the game, got a bottle of water, and began our plutonic yet sweaty love affair.

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Look At Me Shake It In My Underpants

So, Just Dance 2014 has this social option to it called; Just Dance Television (JDTV).  Where, for some reason, people upload themselves shaking it in their living rooms. Actually, JDTV was a great tool, to later see your fitness progress.

I moved faster, I lost %15 of body my fat, I had way more energy, and I actually had a good time Just Dancing! The Music list for Just Dance 2014 was so diverse and fun; I played 3 times a week, for 5 months and never got bored. Heck, I even figured out I liked Chris Brown! But, for Every Just Dance 2014, there is a Just Dance 2015.

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Ubisoft, Stop Trying To Sugarcoat Us Adults With Macarena, Everybody Hates Macarena!

Yes, I know, the music industry is an industry. And pop music is a money maker. But I have nothing against pop like; katy perry, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, and Even Rihanna sometimes (when she’s not live). But what was so balanced in Just Dance 2014’s song list was lost completely in 2015’s. Suddenly there are 3 birthday songs, an O.D. of Ariana Grande and her undecided music ganre, and the most forgettable dances ever in the series. Though there were more songs to choose from, it seemed like the 25-35 year old demographic was, yet again, neglected. (Stop trying to make Macarena happen again! It was a mistake we made in 6th grade). Trying to be current, in these hipster infested dark days, is just a life time value loss. These artist and songs change so fast, by the time the game comes out, what used to be a rising star, is already a homeless junkie of a song. That’s why I say this to you Ubisoft: Go with the classics!

Here’s My Dream Song List, Who’s With Me?!

After a-lot of arguing I give to you my dream Song list (made a list on youtube so you could keep it in the background). Leave me a comment, tell me what you think my list, or send me one of your own.

Dan Eker

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Why Will Final Fantasy VII Remake Kick Ass

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Take a moment and think

Think about that Final Fantasy VII Remake trailer that blew our minds. How is it even possible, that 17 years after a game comes out, fans begged and yearned for a remake? And it worked!

It wasn’t the graphics that made it such a milestone, I’ll tell you that much. Even for the time, I Dan Eker, was not impressed. The controllers would make your thumb bluster (press X to run). And the turn base combat was repetitive and annoying, until you encounter a boss. That part was truly exciting.

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So What Made FFVII It So Special?

Gameplay – Never has there been a game that turns from a turn base JRPG to: a snow-boarding, Motorcycle chasing, submarine adventuring, quest puzzling, a war strategizing, and a weird story driven Tamagotchi game.

Graphics – Say what you want about Final Fantasy VII’s gameplay graphics. Those cut scenes were out of this world, and so were Tifa’s boobs (Go team Tifa!). Playing the game as a young teenager, Dan here was not the only one who got a little too attracted to a bunch of polygons.

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Story – What can I say about Final Fantasy VII’s story that hasn’t been said before? In the loneliest time in my life, I had 9 best friends! The fact that the whole game was in text, and the length of it all, just brought it closer to being more of a book experience. The scene where you are about to jump into the final battle, you get to say goodbye to all your friends. That’s what they are, your real friends! It’s heart breaking, you actually linger around thinking: “maybe Vincent will finally have something more to say?” As if.

Replay Value – Because we were so young playing it for the first time, we hardly understood half of the humor, the drama or the suspense!  As you take your time, travelling the open world you find little Easter eggs like: the ever sleeping ninja, and his sneaky one-liners.

Music – They turned midi files into a complete orchestra! Drop mic, I mean composer stick.

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What are we The Final Fantasy VII fans expecting?

To put it mildly, we are expecting Final Fantasy VII to be treated like an adult. Too long have we been disappointed! Disappointed by these; weird, cutesy, awkward, clumsy teenage targeted morons! And not only have we been disappointed by Square-Enix. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have also forgotten who made them! Stupid fish nosed clichés.

Cloud had soul; he was vulnerable, yet super strong. That’s what made him so fucking special! I think we the FFVII fans want a fulfilled love interest, and maybe even the option to choose! We want more insight about Barret! We want to see how Marlene grew up! We want to see Yuffie in training and we want to level up so much Sephiroth won’t see what hit him. Don’t let us down!!!

Those were my thoughts, what do you think?

Dan Eker